Normally, the Herald-Leader does not write stories about deaths by suicide — unless they involve a prominent member of the community or take place in a very public way. For years, the thinking has been that covering suicides might lead others to consider suicide as an option. There is some disagreement in journalism — and in the Herald-Leader newsroom — on this subject, including those who think that NOT writing about suicides only stigmatizes such deaths. Others point out that by writing about suicides more often, newspapers could provide valuable resource information that could inspire those considering suicide to seek help.
On Sunday’s front page, we make an exception to this long-standing policy about covering suicides. An editors’ note explains the many reasons we decided to write about the death by suicide of Josh Shipman, a student at Dunbar High School in Lexington. Among those reasons: Josh’s family agreed to speak with education writer Raviya Ismail at length about Josh, his life and his death, in the hopes that others might see his story and seek help if they, too, were considering suicide. Also, Josh’s death had led to an extraordinary outpouring of grief and emotion at his high school, and on the internet, where several mourning pages have been created, including on MySpace.com. And finally, Josh was no stranger to the Herald-Leader. On the first day of school in 2005, we ran a front-page story about his experience as a new freshman at the school’s new freshman academy. That was how Raviya first met Josh, and a large part of why she pursued the story about his death.
A lot of conversation and care went into producing the story that runs on Sunday’s front page. Among other things, the story includes detailed suicide information and resources for teens and parents of teens who fear their child might be considering suicide. It also includes discussion from experts about the very real issue of teen suicide, especially about how it affects gay teens.
I asked Raviya to share some of her thoughts about how this story came to be, and how she reported it over the last month and a half. Here is what she had to say:
“Josh Shipman was profiled for a story on his first day of school as a freshman more than a year ago,” Raviya said. “He was selected quite randomly from a large pool of students. In Oct. 6, 2006, I got a phone call from a student at Paul Laurence Dunbar High School saying a peer had committed suicide. I received another call about the suicide and I asked the name of the student. Before the question was answered, I knew it was him. I knew Josh was different and I knew he had problems, he wore that part of him like he wore his quirky clothes. But the last conversation I had with him, I had wished him luck and I thought he was going to do great things with his life. So it was sad for me that he had died in such a way. I talked to my editor who was also shocked, but we both initially agreed that we wouldn’t pursue a story – newspapers don’t write about suicides unless they are in the public domain."
Over the ensuing days, as Raviya notes, our thoughts changed about whether Josh’s death might merit a story. First, Raviya continued to be contacted by teens who knew Josh. She also started to find that his death had become a topic on the Web. Raviya talked with me and her direct editor, Risa Brim Richardson, and we decided that she should try to find out more. We also decided that it was critical for her to make contact with Josh’s family.
Raviya continues: “People were intrigued because Josh was gay, because he was eccentric. What could I find out about his life? So I started slowly. I called a student at Dunbar who knew Josh and asked him to pass my name and number on to some of Josh’s friends. Then I looked up his last name in the phonebook and reached his grandfather, who gave me Matthew Shipman’s cell phone number (Josh’s dad.) I called Josh’s dad, and he asked if I could call him back. We wanted to pursue a story on Josh, but … I wanted to communicate that with his father.” Raviya placed a few calls to Josh’s father, always conscious that this was a difficult time for the family. Each time, she simply let him know that she wanted to know more about Josh and that she was ready to listen when he was ready to talk.
At one point, Matthew Shipman called, and “we talked for about 30 minutes, and he opened up to me about Josh’s death. How they argued the night he died and how the funeral was packed with so many people – teens and adults – and how he wished he knew his son half as much as those people. While I had talked to a number of Josh’s friends, that conversation with his father laid the groundwork for the rest of my reporting. I had another interview with his father (and former step-mother Cyndi Shipman and sister, Lyndsey Cheuvront) that lasted 3 hours. I asked his dad if I could communicate with his mother – she was important for the story. He said he’d call her and leave her my contact information. She called me the next day. She agreed to be interviewed and I met with her for one hour. She brought a bag full of baby pictures of Josh. She talked about his problems and her guilt regarding his death.”
The results of Raviya’s reporting provide a look into the life of a troubled teen trying to find his place in the world — and of the devastation that his death has left behind.
Peter Baniak
metro editor
Thank you for publishing this story. I remember reading Josh’s story in August of 2005 and thought to myself “I hope the kid doesn’t go through what I went through at my high school in Eastern KY from 1991-1995.” It almost drove me to suicide as well. If doing this story helps even one teen realize that suicide doesn’t end their problem, it only creates more for the families, friends, and those who love him/her most…then it was well worth the LHL publishing it. I have had a suicide in my family and I can tell you that it makes things harder than anyone can imagine.
May God Bless Josh Shipman, his family, and his friends who have suffered through this loss. May God also bless this community, which needs a big dose of reality and sensitivity to keep things like this from happening again.
Oh My Gosh! Thank you So Much!
This Article was beautiful, just like Josh, and he needs to never be forgotten!
I remember on September 2nd,at the Rocky Horror Picture Show, when Kelsey Truman took that picture of Josh, Lucy and I, All I could think was, “He looks so great! I wonder what he’ll wear next time!”
Then I found out about his death. It Just didn’t seem real.
At the Halloween Show of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Pre-Show Was dedicated to Joshie, and some of his family was there, including Matt (his father), who was sporting the infamous pink hair!
Josh would have loved this article,and the wonderful, beautiful pictures that captured the happy, smiling side of him…the side everyone knew and no one could forget.
I thank you for writing this article. My son Chris White was friends with Josh. I did not personally know him, but he seems like the kind of person I would have loved to be around! I was scared when I heard that he had ended his life. I was mad that he didn’t reach out to all those that loved him. It was a tragedy and I don’t want my son or his friends to think that being different is wrong in any way, shape or form. I love him for who he is, and respect his wish to wear all black and be who he wants to be.
I saw the love for him when I took my son to the funeral and it blew me away. That should not have been how and when I saw the love.
I want all Josh’s friends to know that they have my respect for the way they are in life and for the way they will never let his death or his life be forgotten.
K. White
Thank you for remembering this young person. I did not know Josh but I would certainly would have liked to! Blessed Be Josh. My heart goes out to your friends & family.
I think as a whole people do not listen to children. I have a hard time sometimes with my teen. It is scary to think of all the bad that can happen and does. I find the gay people that I know are strong and healthy with being gay. It is the ones who come out but yet not ready because know one has help guide them in the right way.
my heartfelt sympathy goes out to this family, i only hope something positive can out of this tragedy, everyone is human and everyone is different
I want to applaud the Herald Leader for taking this bold action to print this story on the front page. I was so incredibly touched while reading the article, I had to walk away from it several times, and come back later. It is all too telling in this up and coming generation of young adults. I was also glad to see that the friends and family of Josh are taking proactive steps and hopefully those can lead to help another youth who is struggling with the same thing. I hope all readers can take this to heart, and see that everyone has value and everyone is beautiful; despite their beliefs or practices. Thanks again.
I was only fortunate enough to know Josh for a short while when he was in the foster care system. He was an incredible young man who we loved immediately. My heart breaks that he is gone and I still cannot believe it. And it makes me angry that the system failed him as it did by taking him off his meds, bouncing him around from one place to another, and not providing counseling and ongoing family education and counseling. This is a tragedy that might have been prevented. Let’s hope it may enlighten and help us better protect our fragile youth and prevent this from happening again.
Thank you for pursuing this story and for publishing it. Even if it goes against accepted norms at the Herald-Leader, I hope it leads to more stories such as this, in which the readers can gain new knowledge and information, along with gaining new insight and wisdom through rather unconventional stories.
It’s pieces like this that makes others realize that there are stark differences between teenagers and adults. Times change, and adults on the whole simply do not understand the younger generation or the fears or pressures that they face. When I was in high school just three years ago, I was faced with many daunting pressures and challenges from my peers and from my foes. Sadly, some will only look at this story and cry foul at the teenager but not look at the root of the issue.
Thanks again for posting this.
Thank you for writing a special story about Josh, he would have loved the article, it showed others his bright and happy side just like he did everyday. I also think it will help with other suicidal people by showing them it’s not a solution to their problem. I heard someone say, “It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem.” And I think that is very true.
The Halloween Rocky Horror Picture Show dedicated it’s pre-show to Josh and another person who recently passed on. He always loved how he could really express himself and be with friends at the show. I regret that my first time going was to the one in his memory. It will never be the same without him. He was always so nice to his friends and people who made fun of him he didn’t do any permanent damage to (that I know of…)
Thanks again for making an exception; I think it was a good choice! RIP Josh Lee Shipman!
Tremendous Article. Although Josh and I weren’t like BEST friends, we were still really good friends and I miss him so much!
The pictures submitted by the family were beautiful! This is the Josh Shipman I remember. The one whose smile could brighten up a rainy day. He always made me smile no matter how bad I was feeling.
Josh’s death has had an impact on my life. I regret not hanging out with him more, but you never know what’s going to happen. That’s exactly why I try to live everyday to the fullest.
May God Bless his family, the community, and all of his friends from Dunbar and also the friends he made from Jackson Co. High during the short time he was there who are still grieving at his loss.
Once again, Tremendous Article and Thanks so much for showing the Josh that we all knew and loved, and still love very much.
so yeah i went to middle school with Josh and he told me alot going on with hiim. i know he struggled alot with his parents and whatnot. people gave him a hard time but when you talk to him and get to know him he’s such an amazing person. therse a support group:
myspace.com/joshshipmanfoundation
we want to start a non-bullying program and a protection for gay youth.
have a great week.
I did not know Josh but I feel very sad about his death. I know death by suicide of a young person. The statistics are right. My son is proof of that. He died by suicide at the age of 23. A spur of the moment wrong decision, he took himself away from me forever. The Herald Leader is ABOUT our community FOR our community, isn’t it? Suicide needs to be addressed publicly, not hidden away. I feel if suicide prevention is TAUGHT in school to parents and students someone could have helped these children, or educated us on the signs. I know more about suicide AFTER THE FACT. Tell the stories of the heartbreak and grief. The tears are real, let them be seen. People need to know how devastating it is, how lives are ruined and can never be repaired. Josh was cool because he was different, so why can’t you, The Herald Leader,, be different, stand up and help save our children. Suicide is no joke, it is not glamorous, it is for real and it is forever. Make people aware of it before it happens not after. We can’t save them then.
Me and a few of my friends, didnt know what to say when we seen the 3 page article. many of us, cut it out, and framed it. we all attended the funeral, is was so sad, none of could believe what had happened. but like they say, you dont miss someone until they are gone. and its true. i talked to josh a lot, and hung out with him, he had tried so hard to get my ex to go gay so josh could date him. now that friend says he wished he had, only because josh was a good guy, and needed someone to care about him. me and my friends are now trying to start a Gay-Straight-Alliance at our school, East Jessamine High. so many people loved him, we will miss him greatly.
I am outraged at the death of Josh Shipman.
Fayette County Public Schools must do more to protect the rights of gay, lesbian, and transgender students. Sadly, most teachers and parents seem too afraid to speak up on this issue. I urge readers to contact Superintendent Silberman and say that this type of harassment needs to stop.
Josh Shipman’s life was far too short. His death reminds us all of the need to speak up.
The address of the superintendent is given below.
stu.silberman@fayette.kyschools.us
I never knew Josh but many people were upset at my school the day after his death. He seemed like a really great person who wasnt afraid to say what he felt and I wish I knew him. He should’nt have been critizied for what he was and the people that made fun of him should feel responsible for what has happned because they were part of the problem.
The aritcle about him was great and well put. Thanks for showing Kentucky that suicide isn’t the answer.
R.I.P. Josh Shipman.
You are missed by everyone. Even the people you never knew.
I hurt for the family because death is so final you have my prayers.
I think Josh sounds like a lovely and interesting person as well. But the author of the article makes his suicide seem like an ultimate mystery. An openly gay, pink-haired, Goth-dressing, Wiccan teen in the Bible-belt South–exactly the sort of person who is commonly the target of bullying and hate crimes. Gay teens commit and attempt suicide at an enormously higher rate than their straight peers, and are subjected to bullying and hate crimes, and more personally violent and injurious hate crimes, at a higher rate than any other group. Teens hear anti-gay slurs on average 25 times per day. Yet those in authority often do nothing to intervene, and sometimes even participate.
In 2005, the Bush administration required the Health and Human Service’s SAMHSA to remove all references to the words “gay,” “lesbian,” “bisexual” and “transgender” from the material of a federally funded conference on suicide prevention. At the same time, the only gay-positive section of the SAMHSA website, entitled “Celebrating the Pride and Diversity Among and Within the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Populations,” was removed by officials after only 12 days. Again and again, schools resist anti-bullying programs that include references to LGBT teens as targets. Despite repeated lawsuits and court rulings under federal law, schools and communities around the country continue to refuse to allow gay-straight alliance groups in schools.
Anti-gay hate crimes and bullying lead to a host of psychological and social marginalization problems for victims. This society not only doesn’t celebrate the Joshs of the world; it actively rejects, discriminates against and abuses them.
It’s ashamed the author of the article was too sluggish to actually investigate and report on the most likely cause of Josh’s suicide. In none of the resource material given at the end of the article is there any mention of the higher suicide risk to bullied and harassed gay teens; there are no resources specific to bullied and harassed gay teens and suicide. The article gives the impression that suicide among bullied and harassed gay teens is simply a non-issue, that there must have been some problem with the teen himself. There will obviously continue to be suicides such as Josh’s so long as reporters and newspapers and readers bury their heads about what is at the root of such suicides.
I was very touched by the article that I read today concerning Josh Shipman. I too grew up in a society & a school system where I was often made fun of and bullied because I was gay. I now have a loving partner of over 5 years. We very happy and lead as close to as possible a “normal” life. We had a long discussion today about what might have happened to Josh had he been given the opportunity to spend time in a loving “gay” home with people that he could talk and relate to. I would gladly open my home & heart to young Gays & Lesbians if I thought I could help. I doubt that will ever happen because our society and Politicians will never be open minded mind to allow it not to mention see the possible good benefits. May God bless Josh, his family and the thousands of young teens out there who feel they have no one who understands them.
“Attachment Disorder”? The parents of this poor lad may wish to know that this is a bogus diagnosis associated with an unvalidated and abusive psychotherapy called “Attachment (Holding) Therapy.” Holding Therapy is also, alas, used for gay-to-straight “therapy.”
How can you forget someone you could randomly jump on you and kiss you at the same time? no one could, i remembered when he did that. i knew josh from our school PL dunbar. when the school heard of what happened to him, it tore the building down. i ran out of my class crying and looking for something to hit.i saw someone who i kind of knew sitting against the wall crying. i held her hand and we both cried. how could he have done this? the next day my hair was pink (though befor he died my hair was pink but lighter after i heard about his death) i wore a green ribon and his feather that he would always wear. i’ve written 2 poems about him.the strange thing is that last night was thinking about him, and now I’ve heard about an artical about him. i miss him so much, the rainbows will never fly away. I LOVE YOU JOSH! :..(
I knew Josh all his life. His father, Matt, is a very important friend to my husband and me. That’s me sitting behind Josh in the photo at the top of this blog, which was taken on Memorial Day of this year. Josh was one of the sweetest, kindest young people I’ve ever known. Perhaps he gave so much to everyone else, he had nothing left to heal his own troubles. I don’t know. His is not the first suicide I’ve had in my life, and in retrospect they are all mysteries. If I could,I would wish other teens such as Josh could just know they are loved-even when they feel hemmed in by parents and schools. “This to shall pass.” Please have patience, when every day seems insurmountable, know you can get through it. High school is definitely not forever. Sometimes the only way to get over something is to get through it.
Josh graced my life with his smile and his colorfulness. I will certainly always miss him.
Peace Josh,Matt and Lyndsey
Thank you for putting something so worthy in the paper. Josh deserves to be remembered and loved, and this article does just that. It’s going on my wall when I get home.
-again, thank you.
you have no idea what this means to so many people still torn by the tragedy of Josh’s death.
I love you Josh, now and always, and you’ll always be in my heart.
-Hayley-
As a parent who has recently lost a teenage son, my heart goes out to the Shipman/Lyons families. There is really nothing else to say…If you don’t know what its like, may you never find out. Godspeed Josh! May you find ALL the peace you were looking for!! FRANCIS X FOREVER
Thank you so much for publishing this story! I remember Josh as my little baby cousin, like always! Always wanting to fix myn and my sisters hair, doing our nails, and just doing fun girl stuff! Of course most of the time, he would usually get in trouble when he was always around all the girls, but I always knew Josh would turn out the way he was! I knew that when he was only 2 yrs. old! But that didn’t make me or my sisters love him any different. He was so special, and always so full of life! And he loved it when he was at our house. Mostly because he could do more, and didn’t get in trouble for everything like he usually would of. I know for a fact that Josh was born Gay, and there was nothing at all wrong with that! God doesn’t make trash. That’s how I feel, and I am very proud to have had Josh as my baby cousin. He will never be forgotten by me or my sisters! We loved him dearly and could not ask for a better cousin. Always watch over me and my sisters Josh! We love you, and you’ll never be forgotten!!
i only knew josh for a short while, but i miss seeing his smiling face at Dunbar each day. i remember the first time that i met josh, it was his freshman year at dunbar and i was standing outside waithing on the bus with a group of friends that he knew.josh ran up and huged everyone then he got to me and huged me as well and introduced himself.ever since then i would wave and talk to josh when i saw him in the hallways. i went to the visitation and i was amazed at how many people showed up but at the same time i wasnt because i knew how many people’s life that josh touched and how many people he touched. my heart goes out to everyone that he touched and his family. and josh we will never forget you we will always love you and you will forever stay in our hearts.
This article was on point.
Josh was one of the greatest individuals that I had ever met,and his story deserved some recognition. I just hope that when people read this they learn to treat people with the respect and love that they deserve.
I’ve lost contact with josh’s dad many years ago and haven’t seen Josh since he was around 4 yrs. old.
I’m sorry that he came to the point that he felt this was what he needed to do. I hope that his family can heal from this tragedy. I’m keep all of them in my thoughts.
Thank you oh so much for publishing this article on josh. I was only friends with josh for two years but we grew so close. This year he rode my bus and got on at my bus stop we would have so much fun in the mornings (it’s just not the same anymore) but i wouldn’t have traded josh for anyone else. I really do miss him and i pray for his family every night. I just wish i would have got to say good-bye to him.
Worth Checking Out: Behind the Headlines
I’ve been frustrated for years with the technological ineptitude that the Lexington Herald Leader has shown through their website http://www.kentucky.com. Between their spazmatic approach to blogging (why are there so many?) to the amount of time they spe…
Joshua was my friend. I don’t know what else to say. He was one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever met. He would always kiss me on the forehead no matter where we were be it in the lunchroom or in the halls during class change. At lunch he’d sometimes picked me up by the waist and swing me around until we both got dizzy and had to stop and we’d walk to the table laughing. When I first met him [his freshman year my sophmore year] he came up to me and stated “We’re going to be friends, I can tell these kinds of things”. And then gave me hug. I was shocked that such a beautiful girl would be so cool as to hug me out of nowhere. He had a certain quality that made him stand out. Even without the makeup and pink hair he would have caught anyones attention. I don’t understand fully why people wanted to hurt him all I know is that he hurt. What did he do to deserve it, the pain? He was different. He loved differently ["What is it about love that makes people so scared and angry?"-Nicole Blackman, Get Your Hands Off My Brother]. He thought differently. He was amazing. I truly love Josh. I hope that Josh is at peace. I hope that things will someday be different that events like these won’t occur. My heart goes out to Josh’s family and friends.
Ariel
I only met Josh once at a Showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Kentucky Theatre in Lexington. At my first glance of him, I could tell he was a very beautiful soul. From his fishnets and skirt to his red and black corset and his rainbow hair band. I just knew it. Somehow after the show me and my friends talked to him for about 10 minutes. He was VERY SWEET. He was telling us how he got beat up a few times for being homosexual. I just hugged him. I felt so bad. Because it happens everyday to teens and adults. And then to find out about this. AFTER his death is horrible. If I had known sooner I would have walked all the way from Frankfort to his funeral. I only met him once. But that’s all it takes to make a friend, right?
R.I.P Josh. You will be missed.
(Watching you dance around like a fool at Rocky every month was hilarious!)
josh was great. he was loved by many people, and will never be forgotten. there are so many peo-ple tht feel lost without him, but they need to know he wouldnt want us to be sad. for those who knew him, he was an amazing person. he always gave, didnt care about recieving. its a shame what happened…and we all his him dearly. R.I.P josh. we love you
Thank you so much for wirting this about Josh. Iam happy to have been able to find out more about how friends and family felt atfer he letf us that sad day for us.